Convenience

Wassup people. I end my internship tomorrow! There’s this bubble of joy around me. I feel like I’m walking on air!

Well, me and me department were suppose to have a nice lunch in TGI Friday. Guess what, they decided to make it big. Even the HR department was invited. Sigh. I mean, why did they go invited everybody? It was unnecessary.  The more people in the small circle, the faster the circle needs to be expanded. Having it expanded, there’s no point in a nice and lovely meal is there?

Unfortunately, they invited sort of everyone. but that’s not the point of the post. The point was convenience. Next week Tuesday. 2 colleagueof another department would be celebrating thier birthday. Guess what. We’re gonna do my farewell 4 Days after my farewell.

They even got the balls to think that it would be a farewell. Wait, I forgot they are ladies. The balls part wont work.

They even got the guts to think it would be a farewell after a farewell. Sigh. That’s why. I’m still reluctant to come back on Tuesday. I don’t feel like anyway. Might as well give them a blow. Yup. As I’m typing this, the more words I put into this post. The more convincing I would be.

Okay, I’m convinced. I’m gonna blow it. I’d say I’m coming. Some how, my horns and tail is getting hotter. Maybe its a sign for me to be evil again. Its been a looooong time since I last had this sweet yet horrible sensation. Long time.

Friends. Don’t worry, nothing is gonna happen to you. yet. ;p That’s just a small thing okay. Blowing. I mean, there could be worst. Now Now.. Don’t go further. Come back.

So, as I was saying. Why, why would they even wanna do a farewell when the farewell is past? Knowing me, I’d ask myself, would they think I’m not qualified for a “grand” farewell? Would they think I don’t even deserve one. Sigh. I’m starting to like this phrase

“Go Fuck Yourself”

I amazese me you see, like, How on earth is the fella gonna screw themselves be it man or woman? It would be an eye opener. Well, actually i think they can. But oh well..

Sigh.. Its just so fucking frustrating. For once, I thought what i do would bring an impact to people’s life til the extend they would wanna do a grand farewell. Reality check yet again, i didn’t do anything. Aother phrase that I’d like to share, this phrase is so powerful that It’d make my day and sometimes, allow me to get over things, easily.

“Life Goes On”

曹格 & 光良 – 少年

A song to remember.

光: 你又想起某个夏天 热闹海岸线
曹: 记忆中的那个少年 骄傲的宣言

光: 伸出双手就能拥抱全世界
曹: 相信所有的梦想一定溯窭{
光: 一切看起来都不楔螈遥?
合: 转眼之间过几年

曹: 轻浮的语言都已慢慢沈淀
光: 即使难免温　o更加洗炼
合: 我们不曾妥协

光: 那是我们都回不去的从前
曹: 幸好还可以坚持当时的信念
光: 世界尝试改变
合: 当初的那个少年

曹: 那是我们都回不去的从前
光: 当你站在那个夏天的海岸线
曹: 我们还是心里面
合: 那个偏执的少年

曹: 你又想起某个夏天 热闹海岸线
光: 记忆中的那个少年 骄傲的宣言

曹: 伸出双手就能拥抱全世界
光: 相信所有的梦想一定溯窭{
合: 我们不曾妥协

曹: 那是我们都回不去的从前
光: 幸好还可以坚持当时的信念
曹: 世界尝试改变
合: 当初的那个少年

光: 那是我们都回不去的从前
曹: 当你站在那个夏天的海岸线
光: 我们还是心里面
合: 那个偏执的少年

合: 那是我们都回不去的从前 幸好还可以坚持当时的信念
世界尝试改变 当初的那个少年

那是我们都回不去的从前 当你站在那个夏天的海岸线
我们还是心里面 那个偏执的少年

 

少年

Just another post.

I don’t know.. It seems I’ve been living my life in circles.. I felt these feelings before somewhere, sometime ago, some place I don’t remember, somehow it seems so familiar..

Déjà vu.

This feeling is so irritating I can’t stand it anymore. Sigh.. WTF is wrong with me? Maybe its that period of the month.. Wait.. No, That was last week.. ;p Whats this than? Hmmmm..

This is the feeling that even though you know what this feeling is but you try to ignore the feelings and it sort of comes back to hit you hard on the head again and again reminding you that you HAVE this feeling.

I hate this feelings. I hate knowing and feeling other people’s feelings. I hate understanding humans. I hate knowing how to solve problems. I hate having ideas and theories. I hate sharing my theories and ideas to people that don’t listen. I hate helping people that don’t know what’s wrong with themselves. I hate people that can only talk but not do anything. I hate people that don’t know what they are doing. I hate stupid people that act smart. I hate people that think they are the center of the world. I hate people that only think about themselves. I hate using people. I hate being used by people I care less about. I hate people that THINK they know about me. I hate people that PRETEND to know me. I hate people that ASSUME that they know me. I dislike people that don’t want to be themselves. I hate people that ACT smart in front of me when they are just as stupid as the people i hate.

and most of all I hate people that don’t change. (They know whats wrong with them but they still don’t change)

My girl says give them time. Change takes time. Its not an instant thing. Well, I couldn’t disagree more, but I wonder how long would they take to change. I just can’t stand knowing when will i see the result of what I’ve tried to change. I don’t help people in order to get anything in return, but I want to see the change that they long for. I couldn’t care less if they give my shit in return, as long as they have change for thier own good I’m happy. But alas, nothing happens.

I enjoy being myself. I like knowing that people want to change. I like people asking me for advise. I like to help people. I like to listen to people’s problems. I like living in my own world. I like knowing people are in love. I like knowing people can change. I like knowing there is still hope for humans. I enjoy talking. I enjoy doing things I like. I enjoy making people smile. I enjoy making people laugh. I like seeing others being happy. I enjoy hanging out with my close friends. I enjoy the silence. I enjoy eating. I enjoy doing nothing. I know how to enjoy myself. I love talking to my girl.

I know that I don’t fully understand myself. A part of me kinda know me, but the other part is still clueless. Sometimes, I do things that shocks myself. Sometimes, I disappoint myself.

I no not fully of the world; I know enough to try to change it.

I no not fully of human beings; I know enough to be able to help them.

I no not fully of how to live a life; I know enough to live the happy one.

I no not fully of myself; I know enough to know what I can and cannot do.

wow, That’s a lot of I’s.. I think I’mma gonna get sick. This feeling of mine is about to explode. Sigh. I guess there’s a limit which a person can withstand. I guess when the time comes, i’d probably leave this fucking piece of shit, leave humans behind, leave people’s problems behind, leave the world’s issues behind and just live a quiet life with the family i long for.

Should I have……

I’m starting to doubt my thoughts and my ideas. I mean, so far, i haven’t been able to receive good feedback on my ideas.. Sigh.. Should I have done holy shit lots of experiments, researchs, tests and write Shit loads of journals so that one idea can be proven and the world accepts it? It seems so. It seems that once a person is fused with one idea, that person would be hard to shake to matter what, no matter how.

I don’t seem to be creating enough impact on people. I can’t seem to see the results of what I’ve done. I mean, I’m not wanting to get gifts,bla bla bla. But it just seems wasted. I couldnt care less what people think about me, I couldnt care less if people don’t understand me. But I care when I use my time to share my ideas, (they pretend) they listen and agree and later life goes on. Nothing change. Its pretty fucked up for me. WHAT THE FUCK? Please, don’t waste my time if you people wouldn’t wanna listen the truth about yourselves. You can go FUCK yourself for all I care. The fact is I care. I CARE. but you messed up fuck faces don’t. and I’m pretty tired looking at that scene. and I solely stick to the phrase,

“People just won’t change for thier own good unless something Fucks them up.”

yes, I made that up myself. People just won’t change unless they have to, Which is pretty messed up don’t you think? Bah, it was rhetorical. 

I’m just sad, tired, and I’m giving up on your fucking idiots.

My time, my spirit, my energy is wasted.

I’m drained.

I’m going to lose my grip on humans.

And I lost a friend today.